Monday, October 14, 2013

The courage to let go

Giving up does not always mean you are weak — sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown

I am in the second week of a wonderful writing e-class titled Writing and Spiritual Practice, one of several offered here. It comes at a time most needed for me, something I could not have known when I was notified by Kat and Meredith (of Once in a Blue August Moon '13) that I had won a drawing for a free class. Because we were traveling in September, and because I am a spiritual seeker, I chose this class which began Oct. 4.

You'll not likely see my writing for this class on this blog: it is deeply personal and painful (and you already know a lot about me anyway!). There are only eight of us; I believe I am the only US resident; most -- if not all -- live in the UK. 

The first week was about faith and included an essay, some writing suggestions and inspirational materials. We learned how to write 'Small Stones,' a challenging exercise in paying attention and then capturing that moment. And we shared our efforts, giving us intimate insights into the others' worlds and experiences. 

I have never lacked faith in a higher power, in a Universal Wisdom, in whatever you want to call the oversoul that is the collective repository and source for our life energy. It has taken on different faces and dimensions as my spiritual path has evolved and changed, but it always has been there. This class is an opportunity to really examine that spiritual path and where it is taking me.  

I am in a crisis of sorts in dealing with an adult child who is in what I believe to be a dangerous living situation but refuses to do anything about it, and paying such attention to what I am feeling and experiencing has been therapeutic for me, if extremely difficult. Indeed, the second week's theme is "Clear Seeing," and there have been moments where I have clearly received reassurances and messages that I need to remove myself so that both of us can move ahead to whatever is next. Thank you to this writing group and to friends and family who have listened and encouraged and loved me through this. We aren't done but we are moving forward.

We never know from one moment to the next how our lives might change. Being aware of Small Stones help us to stay in this moment and to notice and treasure what is here right now. I wish my efforts weren't so full of roiling guts and heart-breaking fear and worry; I am working to see the other gemstones in all my moments and remember with each breath that “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” ― Julian of Norwich